Have you ever felt the desire to rule the earth? To be feared by everyone and everything? To just walk around and take a bite out of everything you’d like to taste? Like eeeverything! “Hmmm, I wonder what this house tastes like!” *nom nom nom* Have you ever wanted to roar and make the whole world tremble and bow down? Yap, being a dinosaur really is epic… or is it?
4 reasons why you don’t want to be a dinosaur
1. You’d be a crappy pet
Let’s face it… Dinosaurs don’t make good pets. People want cuddly, fluffy critters that sleep in an equally cute bed, make tiny poops and can perform adorable tricks. If you were someone’s pet Ankylosaurus, you’d probably flatten the entire house when trying to attempt to roll over. And as someone’s pet Triceratops, one poop would probably fertilize the entire town. Also, I suppose you’d be a bit of a large pet to take for walks…
2. People make really mean dino-memes
Have you ever seen this one?
Or this one?
Kinda mean if you ask me! I sure wouldn’t want someone to turn me into a meme… On the upside, people make really great dino-games! The newest offering at the Euro Palace Online Casino is the Jurassic World™ Online Slot. Based on the epic movie, Jurassic World™, this slot game offers roaring entertainment and crazy Free Spins functions.
3 or more scatters on the reels randomly trigger one of these legendary Free Spins functions, catapulting us straight back to the most thrilling scenes of the movie:
- Gyrosphere Valley – 10 Free Spins with an increasing multiplier trail
- Creation Lab – 10 Free Spins with Rolling Reels™ and Cryo Wilds™
- Raptor Den – 10 Free Spins with Held Wild Scatters
After 15 Free Spins triggers, the player choice function is unlocked and you can choose your preferred Free Spins destination. But that’s not all! Every now and then the rather frightening, hybrid Indomnius Rex appears on the screen, multiplying your wins. So head on over to Euro Palace and catch the rare Indomnius Rex on the game release day, 17 June!
Need to hone your Jurassic skills? Why not try the Jurassic Park™ slot?
I know, I know… I really have a short attention span and got totally carried away with the Jurassic World™ Online Slot. I apologise! But speaking of things that are short…
3. Rather short appendages
If you want to be an upright dinosaur (because walking on all fours is just overrated), then you’ll have some struggles. The short, stubby T-Rex arms have turned the once fearsome predator into an awkwardly cute fellow. Instead of being revered, he is mocked for his inability to hug, clap or wipe his um…behind. The excessively short arms would also make it rather hard to enjoy the fruit of your world-dominating-labour, celebratory drinks and cigars would never reach your lips.
4. Then there’s the whole asteroid thing
I think this is probably the number one reason why you really don’t want to be a dinosaur is the matter of extinction. So even if you had survived the comet hitting the earth 65 million years ago, you’d be rather old, wrinkly and senile by now and world domination really just wouldn’t be as great! Also, there’d be no other dinosaurs to rejoice with, so not only wouldn’t you have cigars, but you’d also be a lonely-saur! 😉 Maybe you should rather consider dominating the galaxy in our futuristic promo, Galactic Gamble?